Pinocchio

 

Release Date: February 23, 1940

Watch Date: January 13 - January 14, 2023

"The timeless story of Pinocchio inspires a new generation with its masterful animation, award-winning music and unforgettable characters. When loving Geppetto creates a wooden puppet, his wish is granted when it comes to life as a little wooden boy. With faithful friend and conscience Jiminy Cricket by his side, Pinocchio embarks on fantastic adventures that test his bravery, loyalty and honesty until he triumphs in his quest for his heart's desire: to become a real boy."

    I'm sorry...I hate Pinocchio. Hate it. With a passion. Can't stand the book, can't stand the live action remake, can't stand the animated film.

    I hate the message. I hate the character. I hate it.

    It is, at it's core, a very traditional and borderline religious message - at least if you practice Catholicism. You may sin, as long as you are sorry in the end, and you will be forgiven. Consequences only exist as long as you are unrepentant. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with a film having a religious message, there's plenty of times that that is done really well. I just think that the religious undertones of this story should be acknowledged.

    It teaches a bad message for boys, besides the religious underpinning. Be as awful as you want; just do good eventually. Being terrible and irresponsible is a part of growing up. It can be, don't get me wrong. I just don't think it should be glorified. And remember, in the book, Pinocchio isn't a cute, adorable, rambunctious character who never does actual harm. He gets his dad sent to jail. He murders Jiminy Cricket.

    On the subject of Jiminy Cricket, man is he the worst conscience you could have. He constantly gives up at the first sign of trouble. Sure, he returns, he tries to set things right, but he gives up immediately so it's not really a surprise that Pinocchio keeps messing up and not learning his lesson. The kid has no chance.

    Possibly, Jiminy Cricket is a terrible conscience because he's too busy being horny. If there's a woman in the immediate vicinity, you can bet that Cricket is going to flirt with her, or at the very least check her out. It's a character trait that's been written out, and outright ignored, in the modern era. Back in the 1940s, however, it was was apparently not a problem.

    But we've done it. We've got through this film. And I will never have to watch it ever again. Except for the Tom Hanks version...but that's years from now. Unless someone randomly picks it. I live in fear.